[SATIRE] Biden’s FBI Warns Mob At Justice’s Home to Stay Away From School Board Member’s House Next Door

Photo by Gage Skidmore

WASHINGTON, D.C.—FBI agents confronted the mob surrounding Justice Kavanaugh’s home today, warning them to steer clear of the house next door as a local school board member lives there.

“Sure would hate to have to charge one of you nice people with domestic terrorism,” said Agent Raymond Epley to a group of women lighting baby dolls on fire. “By all means, threaten the justice and his family! But if you set one foot on the school board treasurer’s lawn, it’s a one-way trip to Gitmo.”

The FBI had initially declined to investigate security risks to the Supreme Court justices as they were busy planning how to kidnap another moderately attractive Democrat governor. However, after being alerted of the mob’s proximity to a school board member, the FBI immediately surrounded the area with snipers and dispatched several SWAT units.

“Wow, déjà vu from the school board meeting,” said local mom Katie Burkhart as she watched the scene unfold on TV. “Last fall, I went to one meeting to simply read out loud the books and curriculum being assigned to my 5th grader, to see if they knew what was happening. Next thing I know, bam! Flashbangs going off and the FBI is tearing the place apart. They always said middle school years would be the hardest.”

Read more at the Babylonbee

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
1 Comment
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Dan the Man
Dan the Man
2 days ago

No Surprise there. The FBI has become the GESTAPO of the US. The FBI and the DOJ are no longer respected nor trusted by many Americans these days. If questioned by agents from either the FBI or the DOJ, better have a lawyer present even if you are just a witness. Because they can get you for lying even inadvertently since it’s a federal crime….


People, Places & Things